The Birthday Post- of turning one year older, blessings and leaving the Scoot Baby

Dearest Tyann and Tytus 

No better day and time than today, on my birthday, to write another letter to you. 

Yay, one year older and hopefully wiser for Mummy G! :)

It's not yet the end of 2014, but nearing it, there is certainly a sense of wistfulness as I reflect on the year thus far. I must say, 2014 is certainly one of the more significant years of my life.

Good things that happened in 2014 (The top 10)

1. The Journey to the West: Uprooting our whole family from the east to the west, and starting a year long mission to get everyone to school and work in the east on time. (Welcome to the PIE jam, goodbye to serenity of East Coast.. bleh). But God is still good! We have made it thus far and .. ok the west is not that bad (if you stop thinking about the east, that is.).
2. The Full: Completed my first Full marathon after a 7 years hiatus with a timing that is not too shabby. Now that is one awesome personal feat. Most importantly, I did this with my precious precious Sole Sista, Aunty Shannon, who completed her first- ever full marathon of her life. Now, that IS more awesome than awesome! To more marathons and here's to our first Ultra my Sole Sista! 

   

   Mummy G and my Sole Sista!

3. About MGS... Still cannot fathom how we did what we did to get Tyann into this school. The shift, the jams, the uncertainties of failing one ballot and the helplessness of watching your fate be determined by that stupid ballot ball in the second ballot. In spite of these, God is still so good and faithful. Through the ordeal of Primary school registration, Mummy G learnt a major lesson on what it really means to praise God in all circumstances and what it really means to "let Go and let God". Ever so #grateful that Tyann will have an opportunity to be educated in this school. May you grow up to be a Godly woman of excellence with a Heart of Love, Tyann!

   

   MGS

4. Your Pre-school: I can harp on this again and again and again. So so so blessed to have put both of you in a SUPERB Childcare in Mindchamps East Coast. The Principal and teachers are truly.one.of.a.kind. So super grateful to this bunch of extraordinarily patient teachers (seriously, how you manage your life around these noisy kids baffles me to no end). Thank you. Thank you again. And even the last Thank You is not enough. 
5. The LOVELY parents from your Pre-school: Mindchamps East Coast PARENTS! If I could rank the good things that have happened to Mummy G this year, this totally tops the list. At my age, 36 (and I am not afraid to show my age. Seriously, everyone grows old, so what's the big deal?), getting out there and making new friends is not really very fun. I am privileged to have befriended this group of very very special parents, who have bonded to become great pals. The strong friendship that we have got going makes these Mummies and Daddies EXTRA SPECIAL. I am so blessed to have known this group of friends. Words can't express my #gratitude to this group of new found friends who have become my pillar of support and ENTERTAINMENT! The whatsapp chats have become such a necessary part of my life, I feel weird when it's quiet. Haha..
   

   

   Mindchamps Preschool East Coast
   Graduating Class of 2014
   (Photos by Kymberley Teo)

   

   Tyann and her girlfriends
   (Photos by Kymberley Teo)

   

   Tyann and her erm.. Boyfriend Dylan.....hmm hmmm hmmm...
   (Photos by Kymberley Teo)

6. Being the "Prof": I tried out my first stint at SMU as adjunct lecturer, teaching a brand new module called Social Media and Content Management ( it was supposed to be Content Marketing. Don't know what went wrong there...) Thank you Class for first taking the plunge with me, the newbie adjunct who popped out of nowhere and for being so participative in my class and the super daunting projects I set you. You kiddies ROCK!! You have outperformed yourselves! As for me, I have to admit it is tiring heading to SMU every Monday for 3 hours after work to lecture and to spend weekends preparing for the lectures. But I am not complaining! So I am slated to teach again next semester, albeit another module. (SMU, why don't you wanna let me repeat my social media module again? That would have made my life easier yo.. Haha...)

   

   My SMU Students and I 

7. RS: My beloved younger sister, my best friend and confidante, affectionately known as RS for reasons only she and I would know, finally got MARRIED! It felt like Tyann getting married for RS will know that she is more a daughter to me than a sister, given our age gap (of 8 years). Thanks for ALWAYS standing by me, even in the darkest moments. *Hugz*. Also to my cuzzies, Sui and Leng- almost like my own sistas through the years. Thanks for the love!!

   

   My pretty RS

   

   Good times with RS

   

   Cuzzies Love!

8. Tyann Graduates! Tyann finally graduates from K2 and moving on to Primary one. What a milestone!! May the favour of God shine upon you and protect you wherever you are and whatever you do. Most importantly, Be Happy, Enjoy life and Don't forget to laugh, my darling gal.

   

   Yay! You have graduated!

   
   

   

   Graduation Concert

   
   

   

   Graduation concert

   
   
9. The cult: My two beloved team members at work, Margaret and Faiza. I am so grateful to these two members of my small team, who have gone through "Thick and Thin" with me through my days at Scoot. I will never forget the day when both of you pulled me aside and spoke the kindest words a boss could ever want to hear from her team. I don't deserve this, but thank you nonetheless. I am forever #grateful.

   

   My awesome Scoot Marketing Team and I

10. Of awards:The recent awards and getting Marketer of the Year 2014. Apart from dedicating this award to my beloved team, I also dedicate this to Daddy G, who has supported me all the way, which I know takes a lot of benevolence and magnanimity and... tolerance. Lol.

    

    My man and I

    

    That's us!

The 2014 regret
Amidst the news and congratulatory notes of winning a big Marketing award last week, not known to many, is the fact that I am leaving Scoot. This week marks the final week in office for me. 

And this was the little speech I gave when I went on stage to receive that trophy,

"When I joined Scoot 3 years ago, my CEO, Campbell, passed me a thumb drive, consisting of the Scoot Logo, a cartoon picture of our plane-to-be and an animated video of it taking off.

He also handed me a concept called Scootitude, a blank canvas and asked me to create a picture for the Scoot brand.

3 years on- Thank you Marketing Magazine for this Marketer of the Year award- an affirmation that we have drawn a pretty good picture on this canvas. Thank you Campbell, for this opportunity and trusting me to grow and nurture the Scoot brand like my own baby. Thank you agencies for supporting us for the past 3 years.

Most importantly, this award is dedicated the Scoot Marketing Team,-Margaret and Faiza. This. Is for you."

For the past three years, I have dedicated my life to growing this Scoot baby. (Tyann and Tytus, you can almost call him your 弟弟 because I love him just as I love both of you. (but to a lesser extent of course!)

One might wonder why I would choose to leave this brand and company in a great time like this. Let's just say God has a time and place for everything and the time has come, for me to focus my attention on nurturing the other two human babies I gave birth to and to explore new adventures. Admittedly, a very painful decision. 

Mixed feelings really. Have I deserted you, my Scoot baby? Leaving you to swim on your own and walking away from this little man whom I have grown so attached to? To focus on the positives, hand on heart, I think I have invested whatever I could for you over the past three years. 

The time has come for me to reprioritise on what is really important in Mummy G's life- my roles as a wife and a mother. 

As I went on stage that night to collect the trophy, as I watched at the videos and interviews that were done that night, I can't help but think when I looked at this trophy:

One last time on stage. One last encore. One last song. 

The Swansong.

Goodbye, my yellow sunny sonny, Scoot.

Thank you for the three lovely years.

It's been a helluva great ride.

Love, 

Mummy G

Fight to the end.

Dearest Tyann

We didn't get in the first round. Nope we didn't. And when you told Aunty Cindy who visited us last Saturday that you were going to Methodist Girls' School, my heart broke. For me and for you.

But silver linings! We have another chance at this this week to register you for MGS and it's most likely going to end up with a ballot next Tuesday.

We continue to pray and hope that you will get in this time. Failing which we will have to put you in some school that will still have vacancies after this phase of registration.

Should we have to come to that stage, Tyann, don't be disheartened yet. For Daddy G and Mummy G will fight for you to have that place in MGS. We will not give up and will fight to the end with an appeal.

And this is the letter of appeal I will send to the principal of MGS :

Dear Principal of MGS

I am the mother of Tyann Sera Goh, one of the registrants of this year's Primary One Registration. Tyann failed in both Phase 2B and Phase 2C of the registration and was not able to get a space in your school.

I am writing this letter to you, in appeal, for your consideration of allowing my daughter a space in your school. I know that you are probably reading many similar letters at this stage, but I ask that you would give me an opportunity to tell you the story of Tyann which may help you to understand why I so deeply hope for Tyann to be educated with a MGS education.

I am an infertile woman whose womb has had no activity since I was 20 years old. My menses ceased when I was 20 and there was no way the doctor could have my body revert to it's normal state. When we got married, my husband and I were prepared to be childless and adoption was on the cards.

I went to the gynae after getting married in hope that he could help me. When pills didn't work, the doctor gave me dose of medication that was supposed to stimulate a menstrual cycle. Tyann was miraculously conceived from that one cycle- that first menstrual cycle since I was 20.

Tyann is a sporty, lively and bright child. Loves to run, swim and plays tennis pretty well for her age. Who would think, looking at her, that this active child could well have been a multiple amputee?

During my pregnancy with Tyann, it was diagnosed at 4 months, that there was an amniotic band (a piece of skin that was left hanging in the amniotic sac of the foetus when the umbilical cord was formed), a very rare occurrence during pregnancies. As the developing foetus was very fragile, it meant that the amniotic band acted as a knife and would amputate any part of the body that the foetus would come into contact with in-utero.

There was nothing that could be done and as the foetus grew bigger, there was no way scans were able to tell us if the baby had been affected by the amniotic band or not. We could only wait till the birth of the baby to find out.

We were desperate. We went to the foetus specialist in hope that he could help us. He scanned me and said, "Yes, there is a band indeed." And I asked him desperately, "Can something be done?"

He said, "Yes. Pray."

My heart sank.

I told my Dad who asked me to abort Tyann but I remembered how this baby was conceived. For an infertile woman to naturally conceive a baby was nothing short of a miracle from God. No one aborts a miracle from God and if He could bless me with a child, He would complete the great work he had begun.

Hopelessness drives one to pray and pray very very hard. And I prayed every.single.day. And possibly every waking hour in my subconscious. I distracted myself by going to the gym, keeping busy with work. However, whenever my mind had an idle period, tears would stream down my face.

I wrecked my brains, looked at my hands everyday and asked, "What can I do?" It always only boiled down to one word.

Pray.

God truly answered my prayer and Tyann was born perfectly normal. We were relieved, extremely happy and grateful to God, for his faithfulness.

People say that the emotional state of the pregnant mother will affect the personality of the child when he/she is born. When the time Tyann turned toddler to pre-school, she was in general a happy kid. However, she had a highly sensitive streak in her, which resulted in her inability to control her emotions. She would often go into unstoppable hysterical meltdowns over the smallest of incidents. And I often wonder if it was due to my constant worry when I was pregnant with her.

Thank God for great people around us. Tyann's teachers worked closely with us to help her overcome the meltdowns with a lot of love, nurture with their discipline.

Many parents look at the academic results that a Primary School is able to produce out of its students when they choose a Primary School for their children but I look for Love.

I was looking for a school that could provide the environment for my girl to grow in the ways of the Lord, to be eternally worshipping the God who created her perfect, to learn to cast all her cares on an almighty God who could lift her up over troubled waters. To learn to be her best for God. A school that would instil these values with discipline and love combined.

My own sister was an ex-student of MGS Secondary and there was no doubt in her mind that MGS was the best school of choice for Tyann. She shared about the value system of the school and how well brought up and happy her friends from MGS Primary were. And I knew this is the best place for Tyann to spend the next 6 (hopefully 10) years of her life at- MGS.

We were then staying in the east as I work at the airport. However, a parent's love for her child often makes her do the craziest things. We shifted to the west, well within 1km of MGS last year, in hope of getting Tyann a MGS education. It has indeed been a crazy year for us with the radical shift, shuttling Tyann and her brother (yes she has a brother and that is another miraculous story to tell) to their Childcare and my office everyday in the east.

Complicated logistics, but when I pass by MGS on my way home everyday, I tell myself it will be worth it.

I pray for Tyann to have a chance for a MGS education just as I had prayed when I was pregnant with her.

And today, having failed twice at the ballots, I am transported back to the days when I was pregnant with her, the scene when the doctor told me there was nothing he or anyone could do but 'Pray'. I remembered how God had been faithful when I persisted on to the end and prayed.

The initial familiar sense of despair of not being able to succeed in registering Tyann for a place in MGS, turns into hope as I remembered I have been in such a place before.

People tell me maybe I should write to the principal offering a donation, offering my services etc. I could do the same if I wanted but decided I will not do that- because dear Principal, I believe you are are looking for a heart, not money or other paybacks.

Therefore, I come to you and MGS once more today, offering to you, simply, a mother's heart for her child in an appeal to you for a place for my girl, Tyann, in your esteemed school, MGS.

Thank you so much for taking time to read. this long letter.

Yours very sincerely,

Tyann's mother

Almost 6 years on

Dearest Tyann

I wish I could have more time discipline to keep this blog updated and all but it's really difficult to keep up. This is even more so with Mummy trying to cope with work, logistics, housework, making sure you learn your spelling and 听写, cooking for Tytus and you and a thousand and one other things. (ok, excuses maybe :D)

This blog has been relegated to a forum that Mummy G turns to only on a need-to basis or when there is a compelling reason to write a blog post.

So here I am again, and obviously with a compelling topic. :)

Later today, almost 6 years on since you were born to us, we register you for Primary One.

And I would hope to think I am correct to say that Primary One registration is probably one of the most dreadful events every Singapore parent would have to go through.

In my last post 7 months ago (gasp!), we talked about our shift from the east to the west, for the blatant reason of Primary one registration. Fast forward to today and Today IS the day!

It had been harrowing for Mummy G when I saw how the take up rate of MGS, the school we hope to put you in, grow higher and higher with each phase and how your chances get lower and lower and.. oh well, let's just say, whether or not you do get into MGS, it will most likely be determined by a ping pong ball in a lucky draw (ballot, the adults call it)

About bad news and how the human mind processes them, first, one goes into a state of shock and denial. Slowly, one comes to a realise and accept the facts. From here, one can go two ways: 1) be really bitter about the fact (why oh why oh why, that person laments) or 2)  accept the situation and try to make the best of it.

It is really easy to take option 1) as it is the most natural human reaction. But over the years, I have learnt two things:
1) Bad things happen. They just do. Period.
- And so this year, we face a case of poor odds against us in getting you into the school of our choice for you. The feeling sucks because we shifted, been shuttling from the west to the east everyday to send you to school in the east and my office at the airport and all that.
- And there is a good chance, all the effort will be for nought when we ultimately go for a ballot.
- Money spent, time wasted, sacrifices unrecognised.

Oh bummer.

2) Silver linings
- With every bad situation that comes our way, there is ALWAYS a silver lining. (Hey, things are really not that bad, are they?)

And tonight. As I dried your wet hair from the shower with a hairdryer, with your back turned to me, I looked at you, touched your hair and saw that you are real and I remembered.

I remembered the months, 6 years ago, when you were still in my tummy, living with the rare amniotic band, at danger of having parts of your body amputated and dismembered by the amniotic band.

I remembered how my joy of experiencing a miracle of being able to become pregnant with you (a miracle for an infertile me) turned into an absolute nightmare and all we prayed about day and night was for God's grace to be upon you, for you to come into this world safe and sound. That was all I really wanted then.

And when I remembered all these, a sudden calm washed over my heart. And I remembered. The greatest joy is not about which primary school you go to. The greatest joy is to be able to see you grow, jump, run, thrive as a normal, healthy little girl.

Wasn't that all that I had asked for?

Once, 6 years ago, all that mattered was a healthy, normal baby in my arms. Today, 6 years down the road, I am reminded of my prayers 6 years ago and I know, this Primary One registration thing is totally frivolous in the whole scheme of things.

I remembered. God has a plan for you in your life and whether or not MGS has a part to play in this plan, is totally up to HIM.

And with these thoughts, I will proceed to register you in MGS and know God is in control.

Silver linings.

Luv ya,
Mummy G