First post with TWO TSGs in the House!

Dear TSGs,

The last time I posted (which was a long long long while back), I told TSG1 that God was playing tricks on me. Then, it was because I just found out that TSG2 was on the way! And I was in a shell-shocked state at the time of post.

Of course, as with all things in life, everything that happens to us always turns out into a blessing (it is really all about the concept of looking at a glass half empty or full). Whilst many think that I have a tough life as a working Mum of two, wife to a traveling husband with not much help ( as in no maid), I prefer to see this as a marathon race-enjoying the "torture" for the challenge of it. ;)

Today (1 June 2011), TSG2 is 8 months old! Happy 8 months TSG2! 8 month old TSG2 can sit, laugh, play with toys, eat solids and pull his sister's hair! Many major events have also happened in your lifetime! Month to date, you have witnessed the one of the worst earthquakes in Japan and one in Singapore- in the form of GE 2011! (hehe!)

One may think that this post is dedicated to my just-turned 8 month old boy. It is not. Rather, it is dedicated to my most precocious Tyann-whom over the past 8 months, has risen to the occasion and embraced her new role as a big sister in the most impressive way.

Many had warned me about sibling rivalry, horror stories of jealousy-induced behavior. But I see a big heart in my little girl, who, in her own unique way (unique defined as rough manhandling!), has displayed her care, love and sense of responsibility selflessly.

Any sane person will know that life is not easy for me. Revolving my life around the two of you sucks the life out of me sometimes. It is ironic, but seeing the two of you grow up, watching you love each other and getting along so well puts the life back into me.

It's strange, this thing called Motherhood.

Sometimes I wonder if God is playing tricks...

Lil' Tyann,

Sometimes I wonder if God is playing tricks. In my last post to you, I sounded really upbeat and was full of renewed passion to pursue my goals and dreams for the year. Some major event happened shortly after the post and now I am quite lost as to how to realign those goals.

You will know soon enough what I mean when I tell you the story soon. In my next or the post after next.

Stay tuned.

Of Dreams and Goals...

Lil' Tyann,

Mummy G is stuck at home this week because of a series of dental surgeries that I have to go through. It was difficult to finally decide to go through this series of surgeries to resolve my long-standing dental problem.

Having a most horrendous set of teeth is probably my life's biggest nemesis. It has caused me much pain, troubles, stress (undue!), inconveniences and embarrassment. There is nothing I ask God more- than for you to have a set of strong teeth that will last you for your lifetime. The last thing I want in my life would be to see you go through the pain and suffering that I had undergone to resolve my dental problems. 

So please please please be a good caretaker of your teeth!! 

As with all things in life, there are always two sides to a coin. On the flipside of the sufferings of the going through those dental surgeries lies great lessons in courage, bravery and hope.

Mummy G is just so proud of myself that I found the courage to go through all the multiple surgeries in 3 days. Bearing in mind that I have put this off for at least the last 6 years or so, this is in INCREDIBLE feat, isn't it? =)) Of course, I cannot take all the credit for this. I have Dr Philip Goh to thank for his constant smiles and encouragement, and his extremely skillful dentistry.

2009 was considered a bad year for Mummy G. At some point last year, I had no idea what to really look forward to apart from being thankful that amongst all the bad stuff happening, I still had you-the greatest miracle in my life. The thought of this kept me going, and for this, I have to thank you for giving me strength.

2009 came and went. I must thank God for when he brought on 2010, I was suddenly filled with new found energy to regain the zest in my life. I do not have high ideals, but 3 simple dreams/goals I have for this year that if I were to achieve them-would make my 2010 the best year of my life yet:

1) Get a new lease of life with my dental problems resolved COMPLETELY- (almost there now!)

2) Get a new job in a company that I can stay for a long time and a role that I will absolutely enjoy. ( I hope to get there soon!)

3) Hopefully, at the end of 2010, I would try to give you a little brother or sister (I have told you of how difficult this is for me, but no harm trying! Even if I cannot give you a sibling, we still have you, our most precious!)

In many management or motivational theories that you will learn as you grow older, setting of goals is the most important first step to every task. 

How long has it been since I have set goals for myself? I cannot remember but it sure feels good to have them set in place, especially at the beginning of a brand new year. :)

Miracle Child

Lil' Tyann,

This is a spur of the moment post. Suddenly Mummy G just wants to tell you I love you and thank you (really!) for surviving and coming into the world and growing so well, lighting up my otherwise pretty dark life (for now).

I probably have never told you what a miraculous child you are to have been born into this world by me. This is because, by right, Mummy G should not be able to bear any child in my womb. Unlike most women, where bearing children is really the next step after getting married, having #2 after #1 or #3 after #2, Mummy G has a "sleeping" womb. It is complicated to explain at this point but let's just say that I have a sleeping womb.

You were conceived with the help of medication (and the help of dearest Dr Fong). Before you start to think why would that be so miraculous, it is because the same medication that was given to me to help conceive you does not work anymore. Meaning, Mummy G's womb has gone back to sleep after delivering you and now in a coma.

Words cannot describe how I really feel at this moment. 

To be really honest, yes I am sad. Very sad. I might never be able to give you a brother or sister and you might never be able to have an opportunity to know how it is to have a sibling. But this situation has also made me realize how precious you are and now I wonder how difficult it could have been for you to try to fight for your survival in a womb unsuitable to house babies.

I will always remember how you fought for your survival during the first trimester with Mummy G not producing any progesterone and you triumphed. I will also always remember how you had to live with the dreadful amniotic band in the womb which could have caused you to be deformed and you triumphed. So, before anyone will ever tell you otherwise, lil' Tyann, you ARE the most special and determined fighter I have ever seen!

The spate of events that happened to me after I had you: a) losing my job because I was staying away from work too often when you had to stay home due to frequent coughs and colds and not able to go to the infantcare; b) the current situation of the "sleeping" womb- made me realize how much of life's benefits I was taking for granted all these while.

What a privilege it would be to be to just be able to work. What a privilege it would be to be able to have children- both of which I am unable to achieve at this moment.

However, in times like this when I think too much, I steer my thoughts towards you and I think-What a  privilege it is for me to have a child like you.

You are ONE!

Lil' Tyann,

I am writing this in advance of  your 1st birthday. I was planning to write something when we get closer to 22 Oct 09. However, while driving along the expressway this morning, I felt this sudden rush of emotions (aka inspiration!) and I just had to pen all these down before the feelings dissipate.

Lil' Tyann, you are ONE! Congratulations and good job! (You will go clap clap at this point and point your index finger in the air=D)

Mummy G has been very guilty of not blogging for almost the entire year since you came into my life. I can easily put the "blame" on you, that I simply cannot find the time, now that you are here and such a handful at that. 

But Mummy G has to be honest- so as to teach you the right values. (haha) The honest answer is that even when I am free, I would surf the net, Facebook, try out new recipes, read etc but would put off writing to you "to another day."

I had wanted this blog to be constantly updated so that when you are older, able to read and write, you will be able to read the articles written on this blog dedicated to you. As you can see, you are now reading one blog post summarizing almost the entire 365 days of your first year in this world.

But Mummy G will take heart! It is never too late to (try to) start again!  =))

The last 365 days in a nutshell (The not so good..)

1) Tough. Only one word to describe. 

2) I had no idea how to care for a baby and had to do it mostly alone (as Daddy G travels a lot for work). My best friend is now www.babycentre.com.

3) I still feel sad when I see my friends or strangers surrounded with help from their immediate family members when they have a baby.

4)  Suddenly my life is all about planning logistics, logistics, logistics. What time must I pick you from infantcare, what must I bring, what time to pump milk, where to pump milk, when can I go to gym for a workout.. to the extent of how to buy groceries and carry everything, including you, home.

5) I was forced to resign from my job because my boss was not happy that I had to work from home almost one week per month as that has been how often you have fallen ill.

6) I do not dare to go back to work again because the last job left too bitter a taste in the mouth.

The last 365 days in a nutshell (The good part!)

1) Each time I am faced with any challenges, I think of you and I find the strength to smile and move on.

2) Each time I feel saddened by the tribulations of life, I look at your innocent toothless smile and nothing really saddens me very much anymore.

3) Each time I feel pain (especially during those breastfeeding days), I see how well you are growing and I feel the pain no more.

4) Each time I feel all alone (especially when Daddy G is away..which is pretty often), I look at your peaceful sleeping face and wonder "what would I do without you?"

5) Each time I feel worn out, I see how your face brightens when you see me walk into the room at infant care, and I know I must be someone really special in your life.

6) Each time I feel discouraged, I see the new tricks you have learnt and feel inspired all over again.

7) Each time I feel worried, I think about what a miracle for you to have been born and no worry is too big for me to handle.

8) Each time I feel tired, I see how considerate you are to always let me sleep and play on your own in the playpen, even though you are awake, and suddenly something tugs my heart. (Mummy G knows! I just pretend to sleep sometimes;D)

9) Each time I feel like dwelling in the cruelties of life, or of the bizarre incident of how I lost my job, your presence is enough to help me climb out of the stinking pit and to scoop you up into my arms (even my stink does not put you off me)

10) Each time I feel totally messed up, I think about how cheeky and interactive you have turned out and I think I cannot be too messed up if I didn't mess you up.

One year old! And on this day, Mummy G should wish you a Happy 1st birthday!=))

Typically on a birthday, we thank God about how He gave us life,  give thanks for the past year that has passed and pray for a good year ahead.

You are too young to say this prayer this year, so Mummy G will say it on your behalf,

" Dear God, thank you for bringing lil' Tyann Sera Goh into this world, for bringing this little bundle of joy into our lives. Daddy G and I thank you for keeping her healthy, safe and sound each day of her life in the past year. She is indeed the greatest blessing you have given us. Please continue to bless her every single day, going before her in every step of her way.

Thank you for choosing us to be her parents.

Thank you for choosing me to be her mum."

Our darling daughter, Tyann Sera Goh

Lil' Tyann,

Its been more than a month since you came out from Mummy's tummy... 6 weeks to be exact and it has taken this long for Mummy G to put up her first post since your birth.

Tyann Sera Goh...finally a face to the name we thought of many months back when Mummy G was expecting you in my tummy. You are Daddy and Mummy G's pride and joy, our cutest superstar who makes Daddy and Mummy G so tired with sleepless nights.

Why do all weariness disappear when we look at you?

Tyann Sera Goh...the little terror who cries the house down when she is not in the warmth of someone's arms or when she is not given her milk. The little funny one who falls alseep listening to techno music instead of soothing lullabies. The little sleepyhead who is able to sleep wherever she goes, even in the most noisy places. The little messy one who spills milk all over her face and neck, poo over her little bum and legs.

Why do our hearts feel like they have melted in spite of your little antics?

Tyann Sera Goh...our precious darling daughter, Tyann Sera Goh (Wu Qi'en).Born 22 October 2008, 1229 hrs, finally brought safely to this world. Born to Daddy Vincent G and Mummy Sharon G as a precious precious gift from God.

Why are we so privileged to be chosen to be your parents?

Tyann Sera Goh...born to this world with two red birthmarks on each of your eyelids. The doctor said they are called "angel's kiss" and will go away in 2 years.

Mummy G thinks the day when you were due to be born to this earth, lil' Tyann's guardian angel, your guardian angel from heaven who had been looking after you in the 9+ months you were in Mummy G's womb, couldn't bear to part with lil' Tyann.

When it was time for lil' Tyann to come forth to this world, the guardian angel planted two kisses on each of lil' Tyann's eyelids

As she kissed each tiny eyelid, the guardian angel said to lil' Tyann,"Aunty Angel loves lil' Tyann. Go now lil' Tyann to be born into this world to your earthly Daddy and Mummy and when they see your eyelids, may they know that an angel had been guarding over their lil' Tyann all this while. And when they see your eyelids, may they know how to love you and guard you, the way I have loved and guarded you. The time has come and you must go now, lil' Tyann, to your Daddy and Mummy."

One might say that this is just Mummy G's imagination running on overdrive from lack of sleep.

But this is how Mummy G chooses to believe- that Tyann Sera Goh was born to us as a precious gift from God, an extension of his amazing grace to us. And your chinese name, Wu Qi'en, speaks of His over-abundant grace in your life and Daddy and Mummy G will remember His grace over our lives through you.

35 weeks exactly and OUCH!

Lil' Tyann,

35 weeks old exactly today! Happy 35 weeks old in Mummy G's tummy! =D

Wasn't it an eventful way to commemorate this special day- with a TOOTH SURGERY @ Dr Philip Goh's (Mummy G will trust no one but him in her multiple dental treatments...) !!!

Lil' Tyann must have been scared out of your wits with his constant drilling, cutting, digging, more drilling, cutting, digging into Mummy G's jaw...but don't be afraid as this is really just a "normal procedure" for your Mummy G.

Mummy G "suffers" from some funny dental "ailment" (which I found out it is called "Cracked Tooth Syndrome") which (as it's name implies) causes Mummy G's teeth to be very brittle and crack and decay at bullet train speed.

Basically at this point, ALL Mummy G's teeth have been impacted (in different degrees of seriousness) by this stupid ailment. To put it bluntly, it means ALL Mummy G's teeth are actually beyond repair and need to be taken/pulled/"surgeried" out.

Dear Dr Philip Goh (Mummy's very trusted dentist) already has an implant treatment plan for Mummy G and it was due for implementation (starting with a terrible upper jaw surgery with some bone harvesting and graft to help with the upper implants...) last March 2008. However, in Feb 08, Mummy G realised she was carrying lil' Tyann inside and hence unable to go for that upper jaw surgery and start the process of treatment.

Dr G (oh yes, another GOH like us!=D) was very supportive of lil' Tyann and told Mummy G we will take one thing at a time.

"One thing at a time" means when the following happens:
a) One of Mummy G's stupid tooth breaks and needs some temporary aesthetic repair
b) One of Mummy G's never lasting crown comes off and needs temporary gluing.
c) One of Mummy G's dumb tooth aches and needs root canal treatment
d) One of Mummy G's "root canaled" tooth breaks and needs temporary aesthtic repair.
e) One of Mummy G's "root canaled" tooth, which is usually already broken into root stumps starts aching and needs to be pulled, or rather, taken out via surgery (usually..)

And so..when "one thing at a time" has happened over the past few months while carrying lil' Tyann in my tummy, Mummy G will trudge to Dr G's and he will do the neccessary to provide temporary relief for Mummy G.

For the past few months, Mummy G had experienced all of the above scenarios but e)-the most hated, dreaded and painful scenerio.

But all "good things" must come to an end. Today, scenerio e) returned to haunt Mummy G....

And so, to Dr G's she went with lil' Tyann (basically, you don't have a choice. Haaaa) and Dr G was not able to get the stupid root stump out. Hence, cutting of gums, drilling of bone and digging was next on the plate.

Now Mummy G is talking to you with a sore left cheek, which is swollen and ugly. Sob! No gym, no Spinning classes for the next few days as Mummy G "没脸见人".... Sigh.

Mummy G asked Dr G to call Dr Fong just now-to ensure that the painkillers Dr G prescribed are safe for lil' Tyann. Thank God it was safe! However, Mummy G only took one painkiller even though Dr G said I can take two. But I really do not want lil Tyann to be exposed to so much medication. I just think that this is no good for lil' Tyann.

Mummy G has also decided against taking the antibiotics Dr G prescribed-though they have been declared safe by Dr Fong. Lil' Tyann should be protected as much as possible and Mummy G is so afraid that all medication consumed by Mummy G at this point are toxins for lil' Tyann.

However, the greatest fear Mummy G has for lil' Tyann is the fear of lil' Tyann inheriting any "bad" stuff from Mummy G. Like sweaty palms and this terrible "Cracked tooth syndrome".

Mummy G prays that in this aspect, lil' Tyann will take after Daddy G (who incidently also has sweaty palms...) and have teeth so strong that can be used to crack crab shells like he always does.

Mummy G prays that lil' Tyann will have a perfect set of teeth which can be used to smile beautifully at people around you, savour food of different textures without concern or fear (unlike Mummy G who cannot eat hard food but only mushy and soft stuff).

Mummy G prays that God is reading this blog post and taking away any ailments that could be inherited by lil' Tyann.

Lil' Tyann, when you are born into this world in just a few weeks time, may you be healthy and well. May you be protected from all allergies, ailments or any other health or physically related problems. May every organ be perfectly formed-from head to toe.

And God, please listen to this prayer for my lil' Tyann.