Almost 6 years on

Dearest Tyann

I wish I could have more time discipline to keep this blog updated and all but it's really difficult to keep up. This is even more so with Mummy trying to cope with work, logistics, housework, making sure you learn your spelling and 听写, cooking for Tytus and you and a thousand and one other things. (ok, excuses maybe :D)

This blog has been relegated to a forum that Mummy G turns to only on a need-to basis or when there is a compelling reason to write a blog post.

So here I am again, and obviously with a compelling topic. :)

Later today, almost 6 years on since you were born to us, we register you for Primary One.

And I would hope to think I am correct to say that Primary One registration is probably one of the most dreadful events every Singapore parent would have to go through.

In my last post 7 months ago (gasp!), we talked about our shift from the east to the west, for the blatant reason of Primary one registration. Fast forward to today and Today IS the day!

It had been harrowing for Mummy G when I saw how the take up rate of MGS, the school we hope to put you in, grow higher and higher with each phase and how your chances get lower and lower and.. oh well, let's just say, whether or not you do get into MGS, it will most likely be determined by a ping pong ball in a lucky draw (ballot, the adults call it)

About bad news and how the human mind processes them, first, one goes into a state of shock and denial. Slowly, one comes to a realise and accept the facts. From here, one can go two ways: 1) be really bitter about the fact (why oh why oh why, that person laments) or 2)  accept the situation and try to make the best of it.

It is really easy to take option 1) as it is the most natural human reaction. But over the years, I have learnt two things:
1) Bad things happen. They just do. Period.
- And so this year, we face a case of poor odds against us in getting you into the school of our choice for you. The feeling sucks because we shifted, been shuttling from the west to the east everyday to send you to school in the east and my office at the airport and all that.
- And there is a good chance, all the effort will be for nought when we ultimately go for a ballot.
- Money spent, time wasted, sacrifices unrecognised.

Oh bummer.

2) Silver linings
- With every bad situation that comes our way, there is ALWAYS a silver lining. (Hey, things are really not that bad, are they?)

And tonight. As I dried your wet hair from the shower with a hairdryer, with your back turned to me, I looked at you, touched your hair and saw that you are real and I remembered.

I remembered the months, 6 years ago, when you were still in my tummy, living with the rare amniotic band, at danger of having parts of your body amputated and dismembered by the amniotic band.

I remembered how my joy of experiencing a miracle of being able to become pregnant with you (a miracle for an infertile me) turned into an absolute nightmare and all we prayed about day and night was for God's grace to be upon you, for you to come into this world safe and sound. That was all I really wanted then.

And when I remembered all these, a sudden calm washed over my heart. And I remembered. The greatest joy is not about which primary school you go to. The greatest joy is to be able to see you grow, jump, run, thrive as a normal, healthy little girl.

Wasn't that all that I had asked for?

Once, 6 years ago, all that mattered was a healthy, normal baby in my arms. Today, 6 years down the road, I am reminded of my prayers 6 years ago and I know, this Primary One registration thing is totally frivolous in the whole scheme of things.

I remembered. God has a plan for you in your life and whether or not MGS has a part to play in this plan, is totally up to HIM.

And with these thoughts, I will proceed to register you in MGS and know God is in control.

Silver linings.

Luv ya,
Mummy G